Assertiveness Course - two day

Course Content

We tailor all our courses to reflect the needs of the delegates on the day. The course content may include many of the exercises listed below, and any additional material that the trainers feel is relevant.

Day One

Why Are You Here?

This is a chance for delegates to tell us why they have come to us and what they would like out of the two days.

Icebreaker

Here we will run a short, gentle exercise to begin the day that looks at how small changes can create unrest in all of us.

This also aims to put people at ease.

Feelings

This exercise specifically recreates the feelings that we have when we have to do something we find particularly difficult.

For instance what happens to you when you are in an uncomfortable or new situation?

We then look at the ingrained behaviours associated with those feelings.

Childhood Messages

A chance to explore the messages people heard growing up that have reinforced their non-assertive behaviour.

Assumptions

Here we help identify the assumptions individual participants make about other people and look at how that can affect how any communication then happens within the context of their own situations.

Status

This set of exercises looks at situational, rather than hierarchical status.

We'll demonstrate that it isn't always necessary to be assertive in order to get your message across.

You will learn to lower and raise your status depending upon the situations you are in, in order to change the outcome of the interaction.

You'll see how a change of behaviour can be an easy way of not getting involved in other people's agendas.

Behaviour

We use a visual model to explain behaviour that is too accommodating and what happens to you under stress.

This model shows how, under stress, even when offered wider choices of behaviour, we will revert to type and do what we normally do.

Being Nice

In pairs, delegates will identify the everyday ways in which they are 'nice'.

You will then identify some of the things are not serving you well:

• Apologising when you haven't done anything wrong
• Asking permission to do something when no permission is needed

And the ways in which being nice does serve you:

• Having good working relationships with people
• Creating a positive atmosphere

Conflict

Two exercises which deal with conflict resolution and defusing potential arguments.

We look at the reasons for conflict and ways to build bridges between people.

Setting Clear Boundaries

This section deals with personal space boundaries as well as internal issues that people would rather not talk about.

It is particularly useful for people who have a hard time saying 'No'.

And for people who can't set priorities because of other people's demands.

The Art of Saying 'No

Using your own material we will look at some of your more common difficult situations.

You will work on other choices you could make to create a different outcome.

Wrap up

You'll be asked to identify at least one thing you are taking away from day one of this course.

You will choose one thing you will practise on the evening of day one.

We will also ask you to think about specific situations or people that you find tricky in your day to day lives.

Day Two

Checking in

Delegates are given the chance to share any thoughts or revelations which may have happened following day one of the course.

We will discuss what they managed to practise from yesterday and what the effects of it were.

Nice Clichés

An opportunity to look at all of the things which have been heard, read or stumbled upon in our lives which give us rules around being nice:

"If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"
"Nice little girls are seen and not heard"

Patterns

This exercise is designed to demonstrate to delegates that even when offered wider latitude in choices of behaviour, we will revert to type and do what we normally do.

Language

Here we will have a play around with some of the language we tend to use when trying to be nice and helpful.

Examples of this might be:

• Using exaggerated apologies
• Justifying over explaining
• Hedging your bets

The Nice You

We will talk you through a short visualisation of you at your most accommodating.

Then we will take you through a second visualisation of you at your most nasty.

There will be an opportunity to have some fun drawing both versions.

Real-Life Situations

A chance to play out your real-life situations with the group and to 'mess around' with the options available to them.

This is also an opportunity for the delegates to share best practise as well as the two trainers offering up suggestions.

When you try out something new in a training room, the likelihood of your using it in the outside world is much higher.

Your Full Assertive Self

Delegates are given the chance to write or draw how they see themselves as a complete, balanced and assertive human being.

There will then be an opportunity for you to present this to the rest of the group.

Personal Style

Here you'll identify some of the things you know you already work for you and the others add to this list of positives.

When we play to our strengths the negative stuff tends to fall away and we operate from a much more productive place.

Support Plan

Each person will identify:

• What specifically they know they will use
• What they are taking away from the course
• Where they will practise

We will give out two Impact Factory documents to support the course.

You'll get copies relevant hand-outs to remind you of the Coursework.

Ongoing Support

Two weeks after the course one of your trainers will call to see how you are getting on.

You will have email and telephone access to both of your trainers.

You'll also have access to a course web page containing:

• Handouts used during the course
• New supportive material
• Impact Factory PDF documents
• Recommended reading
• Links to our favourite videos

Assertiveness Training Course